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Helping Your Little Potty Trainer: Tips and Tricks for Parents
Helping Your Little Potty Trainer: Tips and Tricks for Parents
Potty training can be an intimidating process—it requires patience and consistency and can be messy. The key is to know when to start and how to handle the setbacks. Fortunately you aren't alone on this journey—Pathfinder Health is here to help! In this article, we'll discuss some helpful tips and tricks for an easier potty training experience with your little one.
In this article:
What does it mean to "potty train"?
Typical ages for potty training
Biggest signs your toddler is ready to potty train
Tips for successful potty training
Avoid diapers or training pants during the day
Give potty training a chance to work
When to hold off on potty training
Potty training a stubborn child
Q: Is potty training boys more challenging than girls? Do boys potty train later?
Q: Should I train my son to sit or stand to pee?
Q: My child has no awareness or interest in using the potty—what should I do?
Q: What books do you recommend about potty training?
What does it mean to "potty train"?
Potty training is the process of teaching your toddler to (1) recognize the feeling of needing to pee or poop, (2) get to a toilet or potty in time, rather than peeing or pooping in a diaper, and (3) independently remove clothing, wipe themselves, and replace clothing as part of the toileting process.
The potty training journey for the average child:
Your child's experience may differ and that’s okay!
When to start potty training
Set your child (and yourself!) up for success by waiting until they are ready, which will make the process less stressful for everyone involved.
Typical ages for potty training
You can begin to potty train your child whenever you are both ready to start. However, most U.S. children begin the potty training process between two and three years old and the majority are potty trained for both pee and poop by four years old.
Keep in mind that if you begin potty training too early, it will likely take longer.
Do not fixate on when other kids potty train—this is your child's journey!
Biggest signs your toddler is ready to potty train
Every child is different, but the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has identified some common signs that a toddler is ready to be potty trained:
They can stay dry for a longer period of time—at least two hours. This shows that that a child is beginning to develop bladder control.
They are uncomfortable with a wet or dirty diaper and want to be changed promptly.
They indicate that they are about to pee or poop. The specific signs depend on the child, but may include: Squirming, making a face or grunting, grabbing their diaper or underwear, freezing or stopping an activity, or crossing their legs or doing a "pee-pee dance." Some toddlers even hide or go to a private place before they have a bowel movement.
They show an interest in the toilet or potty or even ask to use it.
They can follow simple instructions.
They can get into the bathroom and undress themselves.
They ask to wear underwear.
Remember to be patient and wait until your child is truly ready before starting potty training.
Tips for successful potty training
You've decided that your toddler is ready to ditch the diapers—this is it! The following tips will help you make the process a success.
Gather the right tools
Although it is certainly possible, it is more challenging to teach a child to use a big toilet. They have to learn to balance themselves on the seat and may fall in, which could derail the process.
For that reason, many parents choose to use a child-sized potty chair or a potty trainer seat, which help a child feel more secure. A potty trainer seat sits on the real toilet but makes the seat smaller for your little one's small bottom, reducing the risk of falling in.
If you opt for a seat, your child will likely need a stool so that they can climb onto the big toilet independently.
Whether you choose a potty chair or potty trainer seat depends entirely on how much space you have and what works best for your family.
You'll also want to be sure to have plenty of pairs of underwear, since your child may have frequent accidents at the beginning.
Explain the process
Make sure that your child knows what it means to use the potty. Explain the process to them using real words for their body parts and avoiding negative words like "stinky."
Try reading books about potty training together to help them feel excited and prepared. You might even ask them to pretend that a doll or stuffed toy is using the potty.
It can also help for them to watch a parent in the bathroom so you can model the steps for your child.
Implement a schedule
At least at the beginning, it's helpful to prompt your child to sit on the potty on a regular basis. Encourage your child to sit on the potty when they get up in the morning, before nap time and bedtime, before mealtimes, and whenever you leave the house.
Throughout the day, you should also prompt your child to sit on the potty approximately once every two hours. If you wait too long, you might miss an opportunity and your child will have an accident. If you prompt your child to sit on the potty too frequently, they might become bored and resist your prompt, which will derail the process.
A potty training watch can be a fun reminder, but is not essential.
When you prompt your child to sit on the toilet, keep each attempt short—about three to five minutes. This will give them enough time to go if they need to without getting bored.
If your child sits for a few minutes with no pee or poop, let them get up and try again later.
Teach good hygiene
From the beginning of the potty training process, it's important to teach your child good hygiene.
For girls, teach them to always wipe from front to back. Wiping from back to front can bring germs from their rectum to their vagina or bladder, leading to infections.
All kids should wash their hands immediately after sitting on the potty or toilet.
Be consistent
Once you begin potty training, you should fully make the transition. Help your child understand that they will be peeing and pooping in the potty now, not their underwear or diapers.
Avoid diapers or training pants during the day
To reinforce this new process, you should avoid using disposable training pants (also called pull-ups) during the day. These can interfere with the potty training process for several reasons:
They are more absorbent than underwear, so a child may not immediately realize if they have an accident.
A child may feel more comfortable peeing or pooping in a pull-up because it feels like a diaper.
They send a mixed message to your child—are they supposed to use the potty or is it okay to pee or poop in the pull-up?
If you are not nighttime potty training at the same time, it is still fine to put your child in a diaper for bedtime. This is a different enough situation that it should not confuse your child or prolong the daytime potty training process.
Give potty training a chance to work
After a few days, it may feel like your child is making slow progress—or no progress!—and you might be tempted to give up. Resist the urge! Despite the many books promising to have your child trained in three days, potty training can take time.
However, if you have been consistently working on potty training for a week or more with no sign of progress, it probably means that your child simply isn't ready. Take a break of a few weeks or a month or two and then try again.
Keep it positive!
Be sure to provide lots of praise when your little one makes progress in their potty journey.
Tell your child that you are proud of them for using the potty. Depending on your child's personality, you might consider using a sticker chart or offering small rewards for successful attempts.
If your child does have an accident, be matter-of-fact about it. Never shame your child for accidents. Simply get them cleaned up, get dry clothing, and remind them to pay attention to their body so they'll make it to the potty next time.
Even when your child consistently uses the potty, you can expect occasional accidents to happen. Just stay calm and remember that it's a normal part of the process.
Nighttime potty training
Nighttime potty training is a very different process and it's completely normal for kids to take months—or even years—longer to stay dry at night than they do during the day. Don't feel like you need to potty train for nighttime at the same time as daytime.
Most kids will be nighttime potty trained by five to seven years, although some will stay dry through the night even earlier.
Nighttime potty training tips
Limit liquids within two hours of bedtime (make sure your child has plenty of fluids earlier in the day).
Include a potty attempt in your bedtime routine.
Make sure that your child can get to the toilet during the night. They should have already transitioned out of a crib before beginning this process. Make sure they can open their door and consider a nightlight or bathroom light so they can find their way.
Use a waterproof mattress pad and consider using disposable training pants for at least the first couple of weeks. Because your child is asleep, pull-ups shouldn't interfere with recognizing cues the way they can during the day.
To learn more about your child's sleep, see Sleep Basics for Parents.
Potty training pitfalls
When to hold off on potty training
Potty training is a big step for your toddler and will require a lot of attention from both of you. For this reason, avoid starting the potty training process when there are other major changes occurring in your child's life, if possible.
For example, you might want to delay for a couple of months if:
You have a new baby,
Your family is moving,
Your child is starting school or daycare, OR
There is a family crisis, such as serious illness, death, or divorce.
Potty training a stubborn child
Potty training usually begins around the same age that toddlers are naturally exploring their individuality and testing the limits of your authority. Sometimes this can manifest as stubbornness—a child resisting being potty trained or even holding in bowel movements.
After all, where and when they pee and poop is one of the only things that is truly within your child's control.
If this happens with your child, the most important thing is to stay calm. If potty training becomes a power struggle, it will be difficult to get it back on track. So avoid begging, punishing, or even overly relying on rewards.
Instead, empower your child. Emphasize that they are in charge of their own toileting, provide plenty of praise, and instill a sense of pride in their victories.
Also consider that a stubborn child may simply not be ready. If you wait a couple of months until they are truly ready, the process will likely be much smoother for both of you!
For more information about your child's development, check out When Should You Be Concerned About Your Child's Development? and Understanding Developmental Delays: How Parents Can Optimize Their Child's Outcome
Fear of using the toilet
Sometimes kids can be afraid to use the potty. There are several common sources of fear:
"Fear of release": As hard as it is for grown ups to understand, a toddler may think of poop as part of their body and be afraid of letting it go into the toilet. They may be especially upset to flush it down. This common fear can cause some toddlers to hold in their poop.
Constipation: Similarly, if a child has ever experienced pain while passing a hard bowel movement, they may hold in their poop to avoid further discomfort.